A Friend for a Lifetime...

A few years ago someone shared that they believed that friends are put in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I feel very fortunate that I have had some very good friends that God placed in my life for a specific reason and for a certain season. I believe the friends that He puts in our lives for a lifetime are few and rare. Those are the people who are very special. God definitely placed such a person in my life.

Sarah and I met when we were in the third grade. It was in the fourth grade that we became best friends. We shared many birthday parties, slumber parties, and Angilo's pizza together. I remember her dad picking us up in the white Cavalier to take us to her house. I remember her driving that white Cavalier when she turned 16. I think our house was the first place she drove to alone after she received her driver's license and she was the only person Mom would allow me to drive alone with when I only had my permit. I also remember that white Cavalier had a large dent in the front after our friend Clay drove it into a concrete stop at the gas station because he was trying to pick up a package of Twinkies off the floor. And I also remember that if I needed to find Sarah on a Friday night she would be in the parking lot of Depot Car Wash sitting on the hood of her car just hanging out.

I can't say that we did a lot together throughout our high school years but she was always around and we had such an incredible ease when we were together. She would come to our house and we would sit around and talk and laugh and just have fun. Though she wasn't a cheerleader she would support us at every competition every year and always made sure we had our goodie gift baskets. She supported me in every boyfriend I had in high school, whether or not she really approved. She was so incredibly involved in school but always made good grades and was always around when I needed her. We ran around together, laughed together, and would have gotten in trouble together if we were ever caught.

After high school she went to the University of Kentucky and I went down the road to Georgetown College.   However, separate colleges did not separate us. I knew that if I ever need somewhere to go, her door was always open and I sometimes took advantage of that.  And she did the same. We decided to go to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg with two other friends for spring break our senior year in college. I will never forget her making the impulse decision to get a tattoo at the little pink hut down the road and wondering if Wes would have a fit when he found out. Two days after we returned home she called me to tell me that she was engaged. She and Wes married about four months later and I had the privilege of witnessing their ceremony. About 2 years later she became pregnant with Cody. He was born at the end of October and I remember her calling me after he was born. I was actually sitting in a hotel room preparing to take the CPA exam the next day but instead spent hours talking to her that night. I made her very nervous several times after that whenever I would hold Cody. She was one of the first people I told when Kevin proposed and she stood beside me during our wedding. I also remember her and Cody coming to our house after Kelly was born. I also remember the random phone calls through the years that she was bringing Cody to Lexington for some various sporting events and would I be home so that she could come by. There is still a little piece of me that is expecting more phone calls...

She spent her entire life fighting the symptoms of a genetic disorder called Ehlers-Danlos. It is the same genetic disorder that caused her mother to experience complications and eventually die of when we were 10 years old. She was double-jointed; sometimes her knees would pop out of place as she was simply walking along. The slightest bump caused the ugliest bruises on her body. She was scared of build up of scarred tissue after Cody was delivered by emergency C-section. She constantly saw her cardiologist due to the mitral-valve prolapse that was common with the disease. But she never complained. She accepted it and made it a part of her life and she did life around it. I never heard her complain about two years ago when she began losing the feeling in her legs and feet. Earlier this year she underwent surgery to improve the condition and something went horribly wrong in recovery leaving her paralyzed. Though she was scared, she never complained. She even made me laugh when I saw her the last day she was in the hospital and was headed to rehabilitation.

I have so many memories of Sarah. She was present in every stage of my life. It's so hard to believe that she won't be there for the future. To be honest, it's very difficult right now to truly believe that she is gone. I attended the visitation last night and the funeral today but it still doesn't feel real. I know that she is now living eternally with Jesus in a body that is more pure and whole than we can ever imagine. But maybe it will never feel like she is truly gone. Maybe that is the blessing of having a friend for a lifetime. She was always my best friend and always will be.

In loving memory of Sarah Jo Nichols Sullivan

April 29, 1977 - December 24, 2011

He is Anxiously Waiting

A few days ago I watched JD become very excited when Kevin came home.  JD ran from window to door and back again with his tail wagging furiously waiting for Kevin to come in.  JD was overcome with anticipation for Kevin to be home.  When the outside door opened, JD's nosed went to the laundry room door in excited anticipation... waiting... waiting...  Finally, Kevin walked in!  JD ran circles around the room, jumped up to say hi, and grabbed his ball to play.  He was overjoyed for Kevin to be there.  We have had JD for nine years and everyday it is the same.

God anxiously waits for us in a similar way.  The anxious waiting stems from love.  God cannot wait for us to come home.  He goes from window to window looking for us.  Sometimes He opens the door to peer out. Then finally, there we are.  We are making the decision to enter into a relationship with Him, to come home.  He watches us make the decision and move forward to the door.  He stands at the door waiting for us.  He is so excited.  He can't believe this moment has come!  Our hand is on the doorknob... and then we open our heart to Him.  We invite Him into our hearts and He invites us into a new life.  He is overjoyed.  He embraces us; laughs with us; cries with us.  He is ready to play.  It is time to begin the adventure.

It is the same scenario everyday.  At the moments when we pick sin, God steps back.  Though we feel far from God, He is waiting for us to come back home.  The unconditional love for us is what keeps Him at the windows and door watching and waiting.  Every time we return, He is ready to greet us with explosion, an embrace and a hug.  We can always return home.

What If You Had Only 30 Days to Live?

Six and a half years ago I underwent minor surgery to have melanoma removed from the right side of my face.  Thankfully it was superficial, no risk of it metastasizing, and no recurrences since them.  However, the week that I had to wait for the results was very long.  I had a 3 month old little girl at that time and I kept thinking, "What will I do if the results come back more severe?"  Though I thought about it for some time, I never made plans of what I would do.  Prompted by this weekend's church service, a similar question has resurfaced.  If I had only 30 days to live what would I do?  What would I stop doing?

One of the things that I would do is to do my best to point my daughter to Jesus so that she would have the opportunity to become the woman God designed her to be.  I also know that I would love Kevin everyday in ways that will cause him to never doubt my love for him.  I would record more of my thoughts and feelings.  I would stop complaining and stop being timid.  I would stop sleeping away hours of the day.  I would not put a priority on things that are simply not important.  I would sell everything, downsize and live somewhere cozy and comfortable. 

So, how does all of this translate to now?  Other than knowing that one day God will call me home, I have no reason to believe that I have only 30 days to live.  But how can I use this list and truly live life on purpose now?

I can...
... invest in Kelly every day in such a way that she begins to pursue Jesus and the life she was made for.
... express my love to Kevin in ways that really speak to him.
... journal and blog more often.  Write and teach what God places on my heart.
... stop being timid and speak the words God gives me.
... stop complaining.  It is a waste of energy.
... get up earlier and at a set time each day.
... make our home warm, inviting, cozy, comfortable, and filled with love.
... place priority on what is really important and do only what God sets out for me to do.

If you had only 30 days left to live, what would you do?

God at Our Fingertips

I am so thankful that I was born in a country that allows freedom of religion and worship.  Last week during the Global Leadership Summit sponsored by Willow Creek Association, I heard a story of an Ethiopian pastor who had been severly persecuted due to his work in spreading the Gospel.  The government became so annoyed with him that they attempted to execute him via electric chair two times.  Both times the surge of electricity shorted the electrical currents in the town and the pastor walked away unharmed.  After the second attempt his persecutors were so irritated that they released him.  A short while later he encountered an American missionary who had heard about what was going on.  The American said that he would pray for the Ethiopian pastor, and the pastor said he would pray for the American Christians.  The American missionary began to walk away but then asked why the Ethiopian pastor would pray for American Christians.

The Ethiopian responded, "You tell me that there is a church on practically every street corner in America but lots of people don't attend."  "Yes," the missionary responded.  "We meet during the darkness of night in the valley so that we can fully worship," the pastor returned.

The Ethiopian pastor continued, "You tell me that lots of people own 7 or 8 Bibles in their home.  We had one Bible but I torn it apart so that we would not be killed for owning a Bible.  I gave portions of it to our people to memorize and then destory.  Now when I am preaching, if God tells me to use scripture from Isaiah 58 I ask for that scripture and the person who knows it will stand and recite it.  You tell me that Americans don't pray everyday.  We pray all day because we know that only God can get us through one day and the next."  The American missionary simply responded, "Yes.  Please pray for us."

It is so amazing to me that we live in such a place that allows us to have God at our fingertips.  We have the opportunity to fully come to know Him through scripture, church, and open worship.  Yet so few of us truly know who He is.  We have churches on every street corner but none are full during worship services and many sit as vacate buildings. More people are dying that giving their lives to Christ every day.  Do we not know God more fully because we are so consumed with our own lives?  Are we concerned about our comfort that we forget to worship?  Do we clutch our lives and everything around us so much that we refuse to relinquish control to the One person who has the best plans for us?  Why don't more people give their lives over to Christ and walk in an eternal relationship with Him?  Christians, what are we doing wrong?

I strongly believe and do not doubt that the local Church is the hope of the world.  The Church is the only institution entrusted with the redeeming message of Jesus.  Church, it's time that we start getting this right.  With all of the freedom afforded to us, let's lead more people to Jesus and reveal to them the transformational power of His grace.

The Presence of God

Last week I was reading some old journals and I came across an entry that I was concerned about a friend's view on religion.  This friend was not convinced that there was a hell.  He proceeded to explain that hell will exist after the world ends but does not exist now.  Through all of the church background that I have and the religion classes that I have taken, I don't think I could explain to you what hell would be geographically.  I do believe that when a person dies, they will spend eternity in the presence of God or completely outside of the presence of God.  To me, spending eternity outside of the presence of God is enough to claim that a hell does exist. 
Each day provides us with an opportunity to live in the presence of God.  Even if we choose to continue our existence upon this earth denying God and turning our backs on Him, we still get to live in His presence.  There is a multitude of objects on this earth that is testimony to His existence...  from the beauty of plants to the everyday gifts that He knows will speak to the core of our hearts.  Additionally, God will spend every moment possible pursuing us with the hope that one day we will turn our lives and hearts to Him and begin living in the relationship that He designed us for.  However, if we continue to deny God that relationship and cease to exist in this life, He will deny us in the next.  Time is up...  the clock has stopped ticking... it has come to an end and the denial of allowing God into our lives will move us into an eternal existence without Him.  We will be outside of His presence forever.  There will be no more beauty, no more gifts, and no more pursuit.  Time is up...  it is done.

I don't know about you but the thought of living outside of the presence of God is enough to convince me that hell does exist and it exists right now.  It completely breaks my heart to know that people truly do spend eternity apart from God. I am so thankful that I will not have to experience what it would be like.  Everyday my life is filled with hope and grand expectations because I know that God is right there with me and we are walking hand in hand.  It is my heart's desire that everyone gets to experience God in close and intimate ways.

An Old Testament Perspective

A big goal that I have for this year is to read the Bible through.  I think I am doing fairly well.  :)  I have progressed nicely through the Old Testament and am almost to the end of Numbers.  The one thing that I have really noticed is that there were a lot of laws and rules about how to worship God and how to present offering and atone for our sins.  Quite honestly, I'm not sure I would have remembered all of the laws and the way to present offerings.  I'm sure my day would have went something like...

"Do I take 4 goats or 5 goats for this offering?  Shoot...  I only have a cup of flour instead of a quarter for this offering.  And did I just touch something that was considered unclean?  I don't remember if I'm suppose to leave camp for 3 days or 5 days until I'm considered clean again.  And do I take my offerings into the Tent of Meeting or leave them outside?  {sigh}"

I am so grateful that we no longer have to follow the laws that were presented to the early tribe of Israel.  I am certain that the laws and rituals would have gotten in the way of my relationship with God.  And, I am so grateful that Jesus came to fulfill the law.

Last night I found out that the father of a high school friend passed away.  There is no doubt that this man is now in heaven.  I was thinking about that this morning when it occurred to me that this man is now standing face to face with Jesus.  He is now in the presence of the One who fulfilled the law.  He is getting to walk and talk with the Man who became the ultimate sacrifice for our sins so that we no longer have to present multiple offerings and so that we don't have to pay the price for our sins.  He is with the Son who loves all of us so much that He agreed to go to the cross so that we could live in an intimate relationship with our Father.

To me this is amazing and beautiful.  I look forward to the day when I get to be face-to-face with Jesus...  the One who sacrificed His life so that I could live in a relationship with my Father and not be bound by rules, laws and rituals.

... one-hit wonder...

It has occurred to me that one-hit wonders are among the best songs ever done. Some of the most popular include "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Conner, "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus, and "Mickey" by Toni Basil. I'm sure you can list a lot more. There are some one-hit wonders that I have come across that I didn't even realize were one-hit wonders... the songs were just that good. A reason why one-hit wonders are so great is because the artists invested a lot of time and all of their creative energy into that one song. They poured everything they had into that one song making it to the charts.

God also recently showed me that I spent a lot of my life afraid that I would be a one-hit wonder. I remember even asking the question internally, "Will I be remembered if I am not selected as a senior superalative?" when I was a senior in high school. The main objective of earning excellent grades in school was to achieve awards... to advance... to be made known.  I worked hard.  I spent a lot of time earning good grades, completing applications, and becoming a leader in clubs and associations.  And... I was tired.  I was worn out.  But I was really afraid that no one would know me or remember me when my time passed.

Was it worth it?  Not really.  I was working so hard to impress people.  I was trying to live up to standards and expectations that were unrealistic and truly never met.  What I was missing out on all that time was doing the work that God had before me.  That is really all that matters.  I wish that all of my hard work had resulted in at least one life that was changed.  To know that I had an influence on one life would have made a difference, even if that person never remembers who I am.  I have changed over the years and I now pay more attention to the work that God has before me.  I believe that by doing so I have had influence in someone's life, even helping them cross over from death to life.  And, I know that in God's book, I am more than a one-hit wonder.

Hearing God's Voice

There were a few times in my life when I certainly heard God's voice...

When I was 18, during vespers at a church camp, I heard God's calling on my life. I am to serve Him and His Church. During my college years I could feel His presence as if He was giving me a hug or just a peaceful reassurance. On September 8, 2006 I became a whole-hearted follower of Jesus. Since then, God has spoken to me in ways that I never imagined possible. He has revealed Himself in scripture, in journaling, through nature, and audibly.

I heard God speak a number of times since 9/8/06. So many times and so clearly that I asked Kevin if I was going crazy. In November 2007 I heard Jesus ask, "So, you want to walk with me?" I know that this was not a statement that I formed on my own in my head. My thoughts before this statement were anything but this. The question was clear. Was I going crazy?

In his book The Barbarian Way, Erwin McManus statest that hearing the voice of God is not something that happens audibly, but it is an experience from within. The times that I heard God speak, it was such an impression on my heart that I heard His words in my head. It is a beautiful and amazing experience. An experience that you want to remember and preserve.

And, when God speaks, you really want to respond. Follow His voice. Obey His commands. Answer His question. Jeremiah 29:11 states that God has huge plans for us. Plans that were made long before we were born. God reveals His plans when He speaks to us. Trust me. You want to listen.

Sweet and Nice

Have you ever been in a situation when you knew God wanted you to say something or do something?  And if you said or did this thing that God told you, the circumstances that you were in would not go well at all?  Yeah, I've been there too and boy is it hard.

I've been known to have little arguments with God.  While talking with someone I have clearly heard God tell me to ask a certain question or make a specific statement.  The arguement would then go like this...

Alesha -- "But if I say that, it will not go well at all."
God -- "I know."
Alesha -- "But do you know how this person will react?"
God -- "Yes, I do.  But I want you to say it anyway."
Alesha -- "Well....  ok...."

Sometimes I will proceed as God directed.  In the end, the reaction was always so much better than I anticipated and I was able to either lead that person into a relationship with Jesus or onto a path of further freedom.  Other times, I would edit or sugar coat God's words, and that leads nowhere.

Have you ever heard the statement, "Sweet and nice never changed the world"?  Last summer God showed me that my leadership was too sweet.  I was choosing to edit or sugar-coat His words too often resulting in soft and poor leadership.  People I was leading were not growing and people around me were not seeing Jesus.  I was choosing to protect myself because I was afraid of the confrontation that would ensue if I said certain words. Quite frankly, I don't like to be yelled at.  But when it comes down to it, who am I to edit God's words???  If God provided me with specific directions, it is my only job to follow.  God is my great protector and I am not responsible with how the other person reacts.  The Bible is filled with stories of people who did what God directed and the outcomes were not as pleasant as one would expect.  However, the outcome was always honoring to God and revealed His holyness in new ways.

After asking God for His forgiveness of me choosing to edit His words and not follow through on His commands, I have resolved to speak and do just as He says.  My leadership will not be so sweet and nice any more.  I will change this world and I will do it under His direction.

Life Goal... Check!

Two weeks ago I was able to check off one of the life goals I set for myself earlier this year.  That life goal was to establish a financial blog.  Kevin and I launched our blog titled "Keys:  Unlocking Financial Freedom."  Why has it been on my heart to do this?  I truly believe that the vast majority of peope live in financial bondage, either living from paycheck to paycheck or hoarding all of their money.  Jesus knew that money would be largely used by the enemy to trap us and put us in bondage; thus the reason it is the number one topic, next to salvation, that He taught about throughout His ministry.  Unlocking financial freedom in a person's heart can open the door for further freedom and can possibly lead that person to more fully experiencing Jesus.

God placed us on this earth as stewards.  We are responsible for everything that He has given us.  There is not one thing that we own that is truly our's.  When we begin to fully understand that we are entrusted stewards of God's vast resources, that's when we will see the face of this earth change and more people experience the transforming power of Jesus.  We will all begin living as they did in the early days of the church.  One of my favorite verses is Acts 4:32 "All the believers were united in heart and mind.  And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had."

We hope you subscribe to our blog.  It can be found at http://www.unlockingfinancialfreedom.blogspot.com/.  God has called us to lead people into financial freedom.  We won't back down until more people get there.

Being Comfortable...

Kelly has an adorable brown bear named Teddy that we bought for her when I was still pregnant.  It is the cutest little bear and it has been well loved during the past 6 years.  Kelly sleeps with this bear almost every night and he goes a lot of places with us.  He even went to school with us this morning and almost went into the school as Kelly tried to sneak him into her backpack.  In the end, he came back home with me.  I thought about this for a little bit as he rode home in the front seat beside me.  Kelly loves to take this bear everywhere she goes because he brings comfort to her.  When things are uncomfortable, she holds on to Teddy with a firm grip.  It's an extra assurance that everything is ok.

Even as adults we hold onto things that provide us comfort.  It could be an old sweatshirt (I have a sorority sweatshirt that I can't give up because it is so comfortable), a certain chair, or even a worn-out pair of shoes.  We even hold on to dreams, goals, and traditions because knowing that such things exist will bring us extra comfort.  Sometimes we refuse to let go even when we know we really need to.

But when it really comes down to it, God didn't create us to live in comfort.  If you are feeling that you are comfortable with God, with how you worship, with your growth in Him, I highly encourage you to reconsider your pace of walk with God.  It could be that He is a little farther down the road than you waiting to take you into something new while you hold on to your comfortable surroundings.  God wants to continue molding us and shaping us into the person He ultimately designed us to be.  And, yes, it will hurt and be uncomfortable.  He will chip away at us like a master sculptor.  But the beauty of the pain is knowing that through time we will continue to look more and more like Him... getting closer to living in the complete joy of being His.

The next time you find yourself thinking about how comfortable life really is right now, look around at where God is working.  And then get yourself there!  God didn't create the fullness of life to leave us behind.  He created the fullness of our lives to make us His.

Becoming Intimate with Jesus

This week I am working on my staff evaluation for work. One of the final questions is "How do you plan to develop a more intimate relationship with Jesus this year?" It is a tough question to answer. I don't want to be flippant and say "Pray more. Read my Bible more." I am looking for a plan that will allow me to grow closer to Jesus because I know He wants to be closer to me.

I have been thinking through how I have become closer, more intimate, with Kevin. I believe that our closeness has grown over time as we spend more time together, as we open up and be authentic with each other, and as we learn more about each other. I also have plans that include reading books on marriage and relationships and even finding talks about growing a solid marriage. And I think I can use this approach to growing closer to Jesus.

I'm not certain about my plan right now, but I do believe that it will include talking with Jesus more, being in a constant conversation with Him throughout the day everyday, and learning more about who He is as a person and how much He loves me. This will definitely include praying more and reading my Bible more and I think it may even include reading additional books about His life and listening to talks from our church and other great church's around the world. I will also have to surrender my heart and life in completely new ways because as I grow closer to Jesus, I believe He will transform my heart and set my feet on a path that He leads. I'm excited about this growing relationship and loving Him more than ever. And, maybe in the end, I will look a little more like Him.

Purposeful...

I have heard the phrase that God purposefully placed us in this time for a reason. I completely believe it; however, I never really took in the full statement. Then something inside of me really clicked last weekend during church. Pastor Pete made the comment that we do not get to pick when we are born, where we are born, or even who we are born to. Hearing that resonated inside of me. That is so true... we don't get to pick any of that. But God picked for us to be born at this time... in this place... for this moment.

Why did God pick for YOU to be born during this century? Why are you alive right now during this decade? Why did God pick your parents for your birth and why do you live where you do? Why were you born in the country that you live in? Why did God place you in that specific city? I am certain that God did not pick your parents, your location, and your birth time just to simply bless you and to give you a happy life. He placed you in this time, in this place, and in this moment for a specific purpose and reason. So... what is it??

I am certain that I was born for this time, this place and this moment. God put me here on purpose and for a purpose. I am not certain of the specific purpose, although I have a few ideas. I do know that God has grand plans for me and through time and through coming to know Him more, I will get to work in those plans and achieve the purpose that He has set for my life.

Life Goals

About 2 months ago I came across a posting by Shaun King of Courageous Church in Atlanta, GA, about setting and achieving 100 life goals. I read his blog and listened to his teaching on this and it makes so much sense. (For more information, visit his church website at http://www.courageous.tv/.) Setting life goals is God-honoring and requires deep faith. And to make them public, as I am about to do, requires great courage. By making these goals public, you now have the freedom to ask me about them and to hold me accountable to them.

People may say that establishing life goals is a way of keeping God's plans out of your life. However, God wants you to establish goals in order to effectively and thoroughly accomplish the plans that He has for your life. Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." (NLT) The NIV says it this way... "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." God made plans for us a very long time ago; before we were born He knew what we were going to do. God has big plans for me. Plans that I know about and plans that I am not aware of yet. Plans that He has yet to reveal to me because, according to scripture, they would be so big and amazing that I would not believe Him if He told me. I truly believe that when God entrusts a great work to me, it is my responsibility to work to my greatest ability to fulfill the job.

So, after prayer and the best discernment I could put forth, the following is my list of life goals. I don't have 100 as Shaun King teaches, but I do have 26. Not a bad start, if I may say. Some of them need a little tweaking or depth, but it's a start.

1. To give a faithful tithe off of our gross income every year for the rest of my life.
2. To add 1% of our gross income to our tithe every year.
3. To be debt free, except for a mortgage, by 2015.
4. To own a house with no mortgage by 2025
5. Complete an MBA degree
6. Teach a college level accounting course
7. Travel to Paris, France
8. Go back to Hawaii
9. Travel somewhere else overseas
10. Be beach ready for our 2011 vacation
11. read the Bible through in one year
12. Teach a personal financial planning class to high school students
13. Write, publish and sell a book
14. Attend New York Fashion Week at least once
15. Start a financial blog
16. Drink 64 ozs of water everyday for the rest of my life
17. Incorporate more fruit and vegetables into my diet
18. Help Kelly pay for college without getting loans
19. Develop a financial freedom program
20. Celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary
21. Have a date night every week for the rest of our lives
22. Have a weekly date night with Kelly
23. Go shopping in New York City or Chicago or Beverly Hills with Kelly when she is a teenager.
24. Take a month long vacation
25. Organize and go on a girls get-away weekend
26. Plan a family Christmas in the Smokey Mountains