My Rant on Debt...

I went to the mall this morning. Probably not my best choice given my history as a shopaholic but I really enjoy going. It's relaxing to me. What I wasn't expecting was to see a lot of beautiful clothes. I tried on a few nice suits and dresses (in anticipation of a new job that I hope to wear them to) and loved how they felt and fit. Sadly, I had to put them on the rack and walk away. And then I got frustrated. No, not frustrated. Down right mad.

So my trip to the mall didn't turn out as relaxing as I thought it would be. I walked away frustrated because I couldn't buy the gorgeous clothes I saw... the ones that actually fit me. (Side note -- I'm petite. It's not often when I find clothes that fit me really well. When I do and they are beautiful, that's when I want to buy them.) Our budget is built to not include new clothing purchases. Why? Our budget is built to pay off our debt. It's a great thing that we are taking steps to get out of debt and I'm honestly happy that we built our budget that way. But if it wasn't for the debt mess we have, I could have purchased those beautiful clothes today.

The debt mess irritates me and it saddens me to think of the foolish decisions we made that got us into the mess. Being in debt reduces the opportunities to allow yourself a gift. Actually, being in debt reduces the opportunities for God to give you a gift. Honestly, I felt God's sadness when I drove away from the mall today. The sadness in how we became entangled and are slaves to our lenders. Being in debt keeps us from going on fantastic dates, giving more extravagantly to our church and other charities, going on vacation, and causes our budget to be relatively tight. If you are in debt I'm sure you feel this way, too. Can you imagine the life you could live if you didn't have that debt on your financial books? I know I can. It wouldn't be a lavish life; it would be one of solid freedom.

Do you have a plan to pay off your debt? If so, when will you be debt free?

A Few Less Details...

 Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail. Thoreau, Henry David

I remember reading the first line of that quote several years ago.  It was on a picture at a department store and I remember thinking, "Wow.  That makes a lot of sense."  I didn't take action on what I read at that moment but that quote has stuck with me.  Since that moment I recognize more and more how much of my life was consumed by details.  Slowly I have worked to reduce details and concentrate more on what God has before me.

I must admit, I believe this will be a big lesson I will learn more of.  We recently sold our house and moved into an apartment.  During the 13 years I have lived in Lexington, I have moved five times.  The last three times we moved, our living space got smaller.  In 2006 we moved from a 3000 square foot house to a 1900 square foot townhouse.  In 2007, we moved from that 1900 square foot townhouse to a 1600 square foot house.  This week we moved out of the 1600 square foot house to a 1450 square foot apartment.  We have discovered that the extra 150 to 200 square feet of living space makes a difference, even though we don't own a lot of stuff.  The move has caused us to really evaluate what we own and what we choose to keep.  We are reducing the amount of detail we keep around us.

I am also looking forward to living a life without lots of detail around me.  I am a high-capacity person and have spent a large portion of my life doing lots of things.  I believe that I am now in a place physically and with life that will reduce the number of details around me.  It will be simple things like smaller space to clean, no lawn to care for, and we can call maintenance for any issues that may occur.  I know those sound trivial but I really think this will help me best align with what God has called me to.  I will get to invest in my daughter more, learn how to date my husband again, focus on finishing a master's degree, and seek out ways God wants us to advance in financial freedom.  I'm really excited to have less details to manage and to see what God has ahead.

My Reminder about Community...

For years and years I heard the word "community" around me. I heard it in church. I heard it at school. I even heard it in the workplace. To be honest, I'm not sure I ever had a great definition of the word. I considered community as just a collection of people around me. Now I see it as a collection of people I am intimately  connected with. It's quite amazing.

We were meant to be closely... intimately... connected with people. Not in the "you're having a hard time in life so I brought you a casserole" kind of way. But in such a way that people really know what's going on in your life and you have nothing to hide. We are meant to be in a community that supports each other no matter what.  That's right... no matter what. I don't recall ever being a part of such a community before; at least not until we stepped into a great church almost 7 years ago. We stepped into a community that surrounds us, loves us, laughs with us, cries with us, calls us up, calls us out, and cares for us. My tangible reminder is my daughter and the other children of the church. About 4 years ago a friend of our's called us at 8:30 one night to ask if their daughter could spend the night with us. The mother was involved in something that would go late into the night and an emergency came up that the father had to attend to. We said that their daughter could of course stay with us. In that moment it occurred to me that our friend could easily call us for this (what could appear to be a large) request, and that we could easily have said no because of inconvenience. The beauty of a solid, God-honoring community is that you will easily support each other without the fear of offense or inconvenience.  We are connected to several families that if we ever need someone to watch our daughter, we know that we can easily call them and they know they can easily call us.

I'm not 100% sure that God will keep us in this church for the rest of our lives. What I do know is that if He ever calls us to another church, it will be so hard to go because of the connection we have with this community. It is truly like nothing else I have ever experienced.

Dreaming...

Kevin and I have been working on our summer vacation plans.  Yesterday afternoon we decided to rent a condo in Florida and be gone for longer than a week.  I couldn't believe it.  It is truly possible for us to be at the beach for longer than a week.  It won't be a vacation the entire time because Kevin will still work and I will have school, but we have the opportunity to be at the beach for longer than one week!

I told a friend about our upcoming trip and how unbelievable it feels that we will be gone for that long.  She said that it was like a dream.  She then told me that she and her husband have the opportunity to dream about their new home as they recently sold their house and purchased a farm.  Then she said something that has been on my mind all day.  She said that her husband asked last night, "When do we stop dreaming?"  That is a really great question to consider.

We constantly encourage our children to dream.  If I asked my daughter right now what she wants to be when she grows up, she would answer that she wants to be a model or a fashion designer.  In no way would I discourage her dream and I don't think anyone else would either.  To my seven year old daughter, life has unlimited options and all of them are at her fingertips.  I am certain that all of us felt that way at one time.  But at what point in life do we stop dreaming?  Is it in high school when we are told to grow up because very soon we will face the real world?  Is it in college when we know that the beginning of our careers are only months away?  Is it when we turn 30 and realize that we are no longer youth but are not yet the elderly?  When did we stop dreaming and start living a life surrounded by restrictions and rules and silent expectations?

To be honest, God gave us life so that we could live it to the fullest.  He wants us to dream big dreams and to set amazing goals for our lives.  Combining our big dream with His big plans allows us to be an unstoppable force for His kingdom.  I also feel certain that we will experience the most fun we ever had when we live that way.

I don't know about you but I'm going to start living a life that is filled with dreams that are within the guardrails of God's plans and love and I'm going to have a blast doing it!  How about you?

They're Only Weeds...

The weather was beautiful this weekend.  I took advantage of the weather and spent some time clearing out the flower beds around our house.  To be honest, I really enjoy working in our flowers.  I love spending time determining if the perennials are in the right place and what annuals we need to add to give more color to the beds.  I also don't mind pulling out the weeds that clutter the beds, with the potential destroy the life around them.

I pulled out lots of weeds on Saturday.  All of the weeds had relatively small roots.  Some of the weeds had shallow roots and they were very easy to pull out.  Some of the weeds had slightly deeper roots causing me to use a little more strength and my gardening tool to get out.  I even found some weeds growing in the middle of some lillies and the lillies were not fairing well because of it.  The whole time I was clearing out the weeds I kept thinking, "They are only weeds.  Gross, little weeds."  I was also reminded of a scripture that I love...

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.  Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong.  Ephesians 3:17 NLT


As beloved children of God, our roots are to grow in a heart cultivated by the love of God.  Our roots are not to be planted in other things.  There are also times when weeds will sneak in around the roots that we planted in God's love.  They bring ugliness to the garden and will try to choke out what God is growing in us. Just like the weeds in my flower bed, we can remember that they are only weeds.  Pesky, gross little weeds. The good news is remembering that they are only weeds and they can easily come out!  Some of the weeds that grow in our hearts can be plucked out with a little bit of prayer.  Other weeds may take a little more strength, time and possible special tools, but in the end, they are only weeds.  God's intention is that we live with a weed-free heart and grow in His grace and love.

So what weeds do you feel growing in your heart?  You can easily take care of them today.

And if you want more heart-gardening tips, please read this post I published in 2009.  http://gravesalesha.blogspot.com/2009/06/when-life-hands-you-shit-make.html