When I was pregnant I would ask those who had born children what labor really felt like. I had never been through labor and I really wanted to know, in detail, what to expect. The childbirth class Kevin and I were taking provided bushels of great information. However, I wanted to know what labor really felt like. How did I know that I was in labor? How did I know that the contractions were real and not just Braxton-Hicks contractions? The best response I ever received was, "You will just know." That response was not good enough. I wanted explicit details and sufficient information to back up the explanation. I was on a quest for truth and knowledge.
Recently I discovered that I have a similiar response if someone asks "How do I know that Jesus really lives in my heart?" or "How do I know if Christianity is right?" My response, "You just know. I know because of how I am not changed."
I know that I am a changed person. I know that I am different from the person I was before September 8, 2006. I know that I respond differently, the characteristics that I had before have been transformed, and even the desires that I previously had are now gone. I am more certain than ever when I hear God's voice. I am free to live as the person God designed me to be and not to live as someone who is living up to other people's expectations. I know without a doubt that God provided me with a specific gifting and skill set that I get to use to live out my calling. The meanness and bitterness that previously resided in me have been replaced with joy and compassion. Everything that changed within me had absolutely nothing to do with how hard I tried, from self-improvement plans, or just simply doing better... it all came from God and the redemption through Jesus's sacrifice on the cross. I am saved and transformed by grace. There is just simply no other way.
So, if you were to ask me, "How do I know that Jesus lives in my heart?" my response to you will be, "You will just know." Then I will tell you the story of who I was, when I personally met Jesus, and who He has transformed me to be. I will point you in the direction of other people who have been redeemed and transformed by the living grace of Jesus. And then I will ask you if you "know" that Jesus lives in your heart because it will be unmistakable if He does. He doesn't hide and He likes to do the work of transforming you into the person He made you to be.
And, if you don't see Jesus there, I will gladly help you invite Him in.
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