Oh How He Loves Us

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. Ephesians 3:18 NLT

We sing this amazing song at church called How He Loves Us by Kim Walker. Every time it stirs an internal emotion in me that is like nothing else. Have you ever experienced God's great love?

The greatest sin barrier I had to overcome in order to walk in a full relationship with Jesus was pride. God continues to chip away at this barrier. Pride got in the way of me fully experiencing the love of God even after I gave over my life to His Son. Almost 2 years ago I was talking to a good friend after church and she was just glowing because it sunk in for her how much God really loves her. I was happy for her and blew it off with a "Of course God loves you." In my head I knew that God loves each of us because we are His sons and daughters. But my heart did not understand that at all.

Early in 2008 I was going through some hard places. The enemy attacked me hard. I was falling into real areas of fear -- fear that I was not performing well in my job and that people would be very mad at me. I was in a place of driven performance and people-pleasing. Much of the problem occurred because I was not rooted firmly in the true identity of who I am - a beloved child of God. For all of my life, I found my identity in what I did, who I dated, recognition I received, and the work I performed. I was having a true identity crisis. I began to ask questions of why was some of this so important to me, why did I have to be the best at everything I did, and why did I feel so void when I received harsh feedback or when something was taken away from me? Through much prayer, Bible reading, processing with my leaders, and listening to "Re:Wind" from the Fall Kick Off 2007 series, I began to realize that I was not living in my true identity. I knew that I was a child of God because I gave Him my heart on September 8, 2006, but I simply wasn't living there. That summer I began taking huge steps towards allowing the capital-T truth of who I am become permanent in my heart.

At the end of the "Rooted" session at Leadership Retreat we sang a song that was based on Ephesians 3:18. During that song I could do nothing more but stand with my hands held out and cry. The words "how deep, how wide, how great is Your love for me" rang through to my core. Later that day I received the little football with the word on it chosen just for me. My word was "Adored." My initial reaction when I turned the card over was, "What? What kind of sissy word is that?" But then I heard Jesus whisper, "Alesha, listen. You get it now. The work is done. You are my child and you are more than dearly loved. You are adored." I did nothing more than cry, then rested. This long, hard process is now complete. It was wrapped up with a simple little word printed on a paper football. But now the song "Jesus Loves Me" has a whole new meaning. My heart is now in a position that when I sing this song with Kelly that I can tell her that it is more than just a cute, little song for her to sing, but that it is the very essence of the lives we live. I walk with such a peace and freedom of simply seeking God and living in His love and adoration.