My Reminder about Community...

For years and years I heard the word "community" around me. I heard it in church. I heard it at school. I even heard it in the workplace. To be honest, I'm not sure I ever had a great definition of the word. I considered community as just a collection of people around me. Now I see it as a collection of people I am intimately  connected with. It's quite amazing.

We were meant to be closely... intimately... connected with people. Not in the "you're having a hard time in life so I brought you a casserole" kind of way. But in such a way that people really know what's going on in your life and you have nothing to hide. We are meant to be in a community that supports each other no matter what.  That's right... no matter what. I don't recall ever being a part of such a community before; at least not until we stepped into a great church almost 7 years ago. We stepped into a community that surrounds us, loves us, laughs with us, cries with us, calls us up, calls us out, and cares for us. My tangible reminder is my daughter and the other children of the church. About 4 years ago a friend of our's called us at 8:30 one night to ask if their daughter could spend the night with us. The mother was involved in something that would go late into the night and an emergency came up that the father had to attend to. We said that their daughter could of course stay with us. In that moment it occurred to me that our friend could easily call us for this (what could appear to be a large) request, and that we could easily have said no because of inconvenience. The beauty of a solid, God-honoring community is that you will easily support each other without the fear of offense or inconvenience.  We are connected to several families that if we ever need someone to watch our daughter, we know that we can easily call them and they know they can easily call us.

I'm not 100% sure that God will keep us in this church for the rest of our lives. What I do know is that if He ever calls us to another church, it will be so hard to go because of the connection we have with this community. It is truly like nothing else I have ever experienced.

Dreaming...

Kevin and I have been working on our summer vacation plans.  Yesterday afternoon we decided to rent a condo in Florida and be gone for longer than a week.  I couldn't believe it.  It is truly possible for us to be at the beach for longer than a week.  It won't be a vacation the entire time because Kevin will still work and I will have school, but we have the opportunity to be at the beach for longer than one week!

I told a friend about our upcoming trip and how unbelievable it feels that we will be gone for that long.  She said that it was like a dream.  She then told me that she and her husband have the opportunity to dream about their new home as they recently sold their house and purchased a farm.  Then she said something that has been on my mind all day.  She said that her husband asked last night, "When do we stop dreaming?"  That is a really great question to consider.

We constantly encourage our children to dream.  If I asked my daughter right now what she wants to be when she grows up, she would answer that she wants to be a model or a fashion designer.  In no way would I discourage her dream and I don't think anyone else would either.  To my seven year old daughter, life has unlimited options and all of them are at her fingertips.  I am certain that all of us felt that way at one time.  But at what point in life do we stop dreaming?  Is it in high school when we are told to grow up because very soon we will face the real world?  Is it in college when we know that the beginning of our careers are only months away?  Is it when we turn 30 and realize that we are no longer youth but are not yet the elderly?  When did we stop dreaming and start living a life surrounded by restrictions and rules and silent expectations?

To be honest, God gave us life so that we could live it to the fullest.  He wants us to dream big dreams and to set amazing goals for our lives.  Combining our big dream with His big plans allows us to be an unstoppable force for His kingdom.  I also feel certain that we will experience the most fun we ever had when we live that way.

I don't know about you but I'm going to start living a life that is filled with dreams that are within the guardrails of God's plans and love and I'm going to have a blast doing it!  How about you?

They're Only Weeds...

The weather was beautiful this weekend.  I took advantage of the weather and spent some time clearing out the flower beds around our house.  To be honest, I really enjoy working in our flowers.  I love spending time determining if the perennials are in the right place and what annuals we need to add to give more color to the beds.  I also don't mind pulling out the weeds that clutter the beds, with the potential destroy the life around them.

I pulled out lots of weeds on Saturday.  All of the weeds had relatively small roots.  Some of the weeds had shallow roots and they were very easy to pull out.  Some of the weeds had slightly deeper roots causing me to use a little more strength and my gardening tool to get out.  I even found some weeds growing in the middle of some lillies and the lillies were not fairing well because of it.  The whole time I was clearing out the weeds I kept thinking, "They are only weeds.  Gross, little weeds."  I was also reminded of a scripture that I love...

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.  Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong.  Ephesians 3:17 NLT


As beloved children of God, our roots are to grow in a heart cultivated by the love of God.  Our roots are not to be planted in other things.  There are also times when weeds will sneak in around the roots that we planted in God's love.  They bring ugliness to the garden and will try to choke out what God is growing in us. Just like the weeds in my flower bed, we can remember that they are only weeds.  Pesky, gross little weeds. The good news is remembering that they are only weeds and they can easily come out!  Some of the weeds that grow in our hearts can be plucked out with a little bit of prayer.  Other weeds may take a little more strength, time and possible special tools, but in the end, they are only weeds.  God's intention is that we live with a weed-free heart and grow in His grace and love.

So what weeds do you feel growing in your heart?  You can easily take care of them today.

And if you want more heart-gardening tips, please read this post I published in 2009.  http://gravesalesha.blogspot.com/2009/06/when-life-hands-you-shit-make.html

A Friend for a Lifetime...

A few years ago someone shared that they believed that friends are put in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I feel very fortunate that I have had some very good friends that God placed in my life for a specific reason and for a certain season. I believe the friends that He puts in our lives for a lifetime are few and rare. Those are the people who are very special. God definitely placed such a person in my life.

Sarah and I met when we were in the third grade. It was in the fourth grade that we became best friends. We shared many birthday parties, slumber parties, and Angilo's pizza together. I remember her dad picking us up in the white Cavalier to take us to her house. I remember her driving that white Cavalier when she turned 16. I think our house was the first place she drove to alone after she received her driver's license and she was the only person Mom would allow me to drive alone with when I only had my permit. I also remember that white Cavalier had a large dent in the front after our friend Clay drove it into a concrete stop at the gas station because he was trying to pick up a package of Twinkies off the floor. And I also remember that if I needed to find Sarah on a Friday night she would be in the parking lot of Depot Car Wash sitting on the hood of her car just hanging out.

I can't say that we did a lot together throughout our high school years but she was always around and we had such an incredible ease when we were together. She would come to our house and we would sit around and talk and laugh and just have fun. Though she wasn't a cheerleader she would support us at every competition every year and always made sure we had our goodie gift baskets. She supported me in every boyfriend I had in high school, whether or not she really approved. She was so incredibly involved in school but always made good grades and was always around when I needed her. We ran around together, laughed together, and would have gotten in trouble together if we were ever caught.

After high school she went to the University of Kentucky and I went down the road to Georgetown College.   However, separate colleges did not separate us. I knew that if I ever need somewhere to go, her door was always open and I sometimes took advantage of that.  And she did the same. We decided to go to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg with two other friends for spring break our senior year in college. I will never forget her making the impulse decision to get a tattoo at the little pink hut down the road and wondering if Wes would have a fit when he found out. Two days after we returned home she called me to tell me that she was engaged. She and Wes married about four months later and I had the privilege of witnessing their ceremony. About 2 years later she became pregnant with Cody. He was born at the end of October and I remember her calling me after he was born. I was actually sitting in a hotel room preparing to take the CPA exam the next day but instead spent hours talking to her that night. I made her very nervous several times after that whenever I would hold Cody. She was one of the first people I told when Kevin proposed and she stood beside me during our wedding. I also remember her and Cody coming to our house after Kelly was born. I also remember the random phone calls through the years that she was bringing Cody to Lexington for some various sporting events and would I be home so that she could come by. There is still a little piece of me that is expecting more phone calls...

She spent her entire life fighting the symptoms of a genetic disorder called Ehlers-Danlos. It is the same genetic disorder that caused her mother to experience complications and eventually die of when we were 10 years old. She was double-jointed; sometimes her knees would pop out of place as she was simply walking along. The slightest bump caused the ugliest bruises on her body. She was scared of build up of scarred tissue after Cody was delivered by emergency C-section. She constantly saw her cardiologist due to the mitral-valve prolapse that was common with the disease. But she never complained. She accepted it and made it a part of her life and she did life around it. I never heard her complain about two years ago when she began losing the feeling in her legs and feet. Earlier this year she underwent surgery to improve the condition and something went horribly wrong in recovery leaving her paralyzed. Though she was scared, she never complained. She even made me laugh when I saw her the last day she was in the hospital and was headed to rehabilitation.

I have so many memories of Sarah. She was present in every stage of my life. It's so hard to believe that she won't be there for the future. To be honest, it's very difficult right now to truly believe that she is gone. I attended the visitation last night and the funeral today but it still doesn't feel real. I know that she is now living eternally with Jesus in a body that is more pure and whole than we can ever imagine. But maybe it will never feel like she is truly gone. Maybe that is the blessing of having a friend for a lifetime. She was always my best friend and always will be.

In loving memory of Sarah Jo Nichols Sullivan

April 29, 1977 - December 24, 2011

He is Anxiously Waiting

A few days ago I watched JD become very excited when Kevin came home.  JD ran from window to door and back again with his tail wagging furiously waiting for Kevin to come in.  JD was overcome with anticipation for Kevin to be home.  When the outside door opened, JD's nosed went to the laundry room door in excited anticipation... waiting... waiting...  Finally, Kevin walked in!  JD ran circles around the room, jumped up to say hi, and grabbed his ball to play.  He was overjoyed for Kevin to be there.  We have had JD for nine years and everyday it is the same.

God anxiously waits for us in a similar way.  The anxious waiting stems from love.  God cannot wait for us to come home.  He goes from window to window looking for us.  Sometimes He opens the door to peer out. Then finally, there we are.  We are making the decision to enter into a relationship with Him, to come home.  He watches us make the decision and move forward to the door.  He stands at the door waiting for us.  He is so excited.  He can't believe this moment has come!  Our hand is on the doorknob... and then we open our heart to Him.  We invite Him into our hearts and He invites us into a new life.  He is overjoyed.  He embraces us; laughs with us; cries with us.  He is ready to play.  It is time to begin the adventure.

It is the same scenario everyday.  At the moments when we pick sin, God steps back.  Though we feel far from God, He is waiting for us to come back home.  The unconditional love for us is what keeps Him at the windows and door watching and waiting.  Every time we return, He is ready to greet us with explosion, an embrace and a hug.  We can always return home.

What If You Had Only 30 Days to Live?

Six and a half years ago I underwent minor surgery to have melanoma removed from the right side of my face.  Thankfully it was superficial, no risk of it metastasizing, and no recurrences since them.  However, the week that I had to wait for the results was very long.  I had a 3 month old little girl at that time and I kept thinking, "What will I do if the results come back more severe?"  Though I thought about it for some time, I never made plans of what I would do.  Prompted by this weekend's church service, a similar question has resurfaced.  If I had only 30 days to live what would I do?  What would I stop doing?

One of the things that I would do is to do my best to point my daughter to Jesus so that she would have the opportunity to become the woman God designed her to be.  I also know that I would love Kevin everyday in ways that will cause him to never doubt my love for him.  I would record more of my thoughts and feelings.  I would stop complaining and stop being timid.  I would stop sleeping away hours of the day.  I would not put a priority on things that are simply not important.  I would sell everything, downsize and live somewhere cozy and comfortable. 

So, how does all of this translate to now?  Other than knowing that one day God will call me home, I have no reason to believe that I have only 30 days to live.  But how can I use this list and truly live life on purpose now?

I can...
... invest in Kelly every day in such a way that she begins to pursue Jesus and the life she was made for.
... express my love to Kevin in ways that really speak to him.
... journal and blog more often.  Write and teach what God places on my heart.
... stop being timid and speak the words God gives me.
... stop complaining.  It is a waste of energy.
... get up earlier and at a set time each day.
... make our home warm, inviting, cozy, comfortable, and filled with love.
... place priority on what is really important and do only what God sets out for me to do.

If you had only 30 days left to live, what would you do?

God at Our Fingertips

I am so thankful that I was born in a country that allows freedom of religion and worship.  Last week during the Global Leadership Summit sponsored by Willow Creek Association, I heard a story of an Ethiopian pastor who had been severly persecuted due to his work in spreading the Gospel.  The government became so annoyed with him that they attempted to execute him via electric chair two times.  Both times the surge of electricity shorted the electrical currents in the town and the pastor walked away unharmed.  After the second attempt his persecutors were so irritated that they released him.  A short while later he encountered an American missionary who had heard about what was going on.  The American said that he would pray for the Ethiopian pastor, and the pastor said he would pray for the American Christians.  The American missionary began to walk away but then asked why the Ethiopian pastor would pray for American Christians.

The Ethiopian responded, "You tell me that there is a church on practically every street corner in America but lots of people don't attend."  "Yes," the missionary responded.  "We meet during the darkness of night in the valley so that we can fully worship," the pastor returned.

The Ethiopian pastor continued, "You tell me that lots of people own 7 or 8 Bibles in their home.  We had one Bible but I torn it apart so that we would not be killed for owning a Bible.  I gave portions of it to our people to memorize and then destory.  Now when I am preaching, if God tells me to use scripture from Isaiah 58 I ask for that scripture and the person who knows it will stand and recite it.  You tell me that Americans don't pray everyday.  We pray all day because we know that only God can get us through one day and the next."  The American missionary simply responded, "Yes.  Please pray for us."

It is so amazing to me that we live in such a place that allows us to have God at our fingertips.  We have the opportunity to fully come to know Him through scripture, church, and open worship.  Yet so few of us truly know who He is.  We have churches on every street corner but none are full during worship services and many sit as vacate buildings. More people are dying that giving their lives to Christ every day.  Do we not know God more fully because we are so consumed with our own lives?  Are we concerned about our comfort that we forget to worship?  Do we clutch our lives and everything around us so much that we refuse to relinquish control to the One person who has the best plans for us?  Why don't more people give their lives over to Christ and walk in an eternal relationship with Him?  Christians, what are we doing wrong?

I strongly believe and do not doubt that the local Church is the hope of the world.  The Church is the only institution entrusted with the redeeming message of Jesus.  Church, it's time that we start getting this right.  With all of the freedom afforded to us, let's lead more people to Jesus and reveal to them the transformational power of His grace.